Battle Report: Molly (BJ) vs Lucius (GO)

The Governer's Orifice and I played. He guild. Me ressers. The following account is loosely based on what happened. Any resemblance to real persons imaginary or really imagined is purely imaginary or something. Any resemblance to real events is remarkable. Please remark in the comments below.

 

Setting: nice walk in the Japanese forest; serene scenery, including beautiful cherry blossoms, Malifaux’s finest public fascistic servants and some rotten zombie strumpets.

Mission: Cursed objects, protect territory and some other stuff I didn’t pay attention to (“the one with a marker to stand on at the centre of the table”).

BlauJ (Me) took Molly as a sprit summoner and Belles to hand out some slaps, a canine and an autopsy. And the murderous psychotic  killer Bettie Noir.

The Governer’s Orrifice (GO) took Lucius, the warden, the peacekeeper, a rifle woman. Some other dudes that died. And a lawyer; a sociopathic sadist in service of evil.

I deployed first, sneakily planning to send the hard to kill zombie-women to the centre of the table (duh: where the marker was) and slap anything I found there. No way GO would see this one coming. The Autopsy and remains to drop schemes and claim spaces.

GO, I guess, planned to do the same, but with metal machismo and style, and slipping his cursed object to my ladies.

My cunning plan was to push/race forward Molly, so that she could summon a weak hanged in his ranks, teleport Molly safely back to Sybelle, have Bettie pop out when the hanged was panic killed. Then bloat me some corpses. Pop! Splat! The sounds and smells of victory!!

GO’s plan was better. I think he foresaw my low tactical cunning and decided to use head shots to thin my ranks and so reduce the slapping, and a teleport switchero with Lucius and the peacekeeper. The old “smash, shiv, smash”. He also had the one shot one kill plan.

The Hanged arrived late (no cards), so instead I got the Necrotic Machine out in a good LOS-blocking position with almost full wounds, along with a Drowned, that died releasing Bettie onto the battle field within charge range of victims. I then winged it;  I didn’t send Molly back to safety but put Sybelle up next to her, close enough to set up a corpse bloat. The bloat caught Lucius and others (5 wounds a time if you fail the WP TN (15). It dropped some crew members, notably those with 6 wounds caught by the Necrotic machine summoning, who found themselves  deep in dodo and other human materials. Other Models were wounded.

The rifle woman never got her head shot in. No one shot one kill. Her view was blocked by a range of summoned monsters (the necrotic machine blocked LOS). The rifle woman got blasted with mismatic-missiles and finally succumbed/had enough (nice model though). The peace keeper headed into the fray and belles piled in, naively thinking their slapping (sound of hands slapping armour, black blood fizzing on metal and girly shrieking) would eventually succeed. It didn’t. It turns out that there might be problems that can’t be solved by even more zombie hookers. (Although I didn't try even more Zombie hookers than that). The peacekeeper and Lucius switched. Lucius, stuck it to Molly big time in a most ungentlemanly way. Then like a shamed-prom queen in a high school movie, Molly fled and was lured and pushed to safety behind the trees. No humiliating money shot, but it cost her a lot of cards, 7 wounds and 2 soulstones. Sybelle set off another corpse bloat, but it was much like a handful of confetti thrown a little too late and this time nobody laughed. As the stink subsided and the misty gore cleared from the air Lucius teleported out (probably to wipe himself off) and the peacekeeper teleported back in. The canine remains then fixed its mouth on the peackeeper’s ankle. Then after a brief pause the sounds of soft skin pointlessly slapping metal resumed.

The game ended. Points were counted. The Governer’s Orrifice’s tactical genius triumphed; when no one was looking he had slipped it (cursed object) to the Doxy and Bettie. Other points being equal, The GO had a 2 VP lead.

Excelsior Lucius and GO!

Or at least jolly well done, or maybe a yay. We can do yay. Yay.

Yay. I liked it. Nice game. Nice gameboard. Nice company.Nice. But messy.